What had happened was......

It's been four surreal, seemingly endless days since I have had a cigarette. I still don't know that I'm even spelling cigarette right. LMAO! My eyes hurt because every free minute I have I'm sitting in front of this supposed "harmless" addiction called the computer. It's been so damn cold I have no motivation to get in my car, drive a few blocks, and get a gym membership at 24 hour fitness. Consequently, I think it's safe to assume I've gained at least 5 pounds in 4 days. I lost count of how many packs of gum I went through, but I know I bought a 5 pack at WalMart yesterday. Abby is bored with me so she went across the street to play with the neighbors who are always in a great fucking mood. It's irritating. Anyway.

My boss/doctor decided to send me into a panick attack yesterday by requesting to be my friend via Facebook. I completely wigged. OBVIOUSLY I had to add him. I had to delete most of my "what are you doing right now", and comments from others. Right after that, no the damn office administrator (office manager, whatever) didn't do the same damn thing, oh wait....she did! Luckily I had just added all my favorite Tool songs with titles like "stinkfist", and "prison sex"...ya know, harmless shit. Then Phillip makes it worse by convincing me they added me on purpose to spy. Sheesh!

My doctor is actually pretty cool but, he's one of those that's constantly trying to tell themselves I'm (that being me) am a nice person and one of them, while at the same time, trying to convince me that he's bad like me. I know...it's makes little sense. Hence why I keep my personal life seperate from business. Hell I try to keep my personal life seperate from my other personal life! HAHAHA! I crack me up. He still doesn't know I smoked, although I had to rat myself out to the office manager Friday when I orignally quit so she would know when I ripped someone's face off, why I did it. I talked to my doctor this morning and told him the panic he sent me into (had to test the water) he laughed and said he liked the same type of music (doubtful) and he didn't care. Either way as long as I'm not participating in illegal activity and flaunting it on the internet, and I'm not on Facebook whilst at work *coughthatneverhappenedcough*, they can kiss my ass it's my personal time, they should brace themselves. HA!

Anywhoozle yay me for not smoking! I've got to stop watching Zach and Cody.

Update on smokey McSmokeless

So Friday I was successful in not smoking. I was successful up until Saturday when Kelli (it's all her fault) guilted me into going out to a bar a mere 30 something hours after quitting. So, I took the patch off Saturday around 5:30 because I knew I was going to smoke. Had it been 72 hours or more since I had quit I would have braved it, but it hadn't been. So I smoked 1 whole pack from 6:00pm to 1:40 am. I put the patch on Sunday when I woke up and had to start all over. It wasn't bad because I knew what was coming so I chewed alot of gum. Here we are today at 11:00 am, I have not had a cigarette and the cravings aren't bad. Tomorrow and the day after that will be brutal.

The patch is a 10 week program. I'm going to cut that in half. These damn things are $32 a pop. Granted I was spending more on cigarettes, but I was getting enjoyment out of that. Sheesh! It's supposed to be 14 days on the first step, 14 days on the second step, and 4 weeks on the third step. I think that's right. Anyway, I'm going to do 7,7, and7. Good thing it didn't turn out to be 666. HAHA!

That's all for now. I will keep updating.

Yay tomorrow is Friday!

I'm tired!! My plan was to quit smoking tomorrow, we'll see how motivated I am when I wake up. I was pretty sure on Wednesday, I should have just put them down then. I'm going to try the patches again and REALLY try this time. My doctor wants to send me for a sleep study, by my doctor...I mean my boss. LOL I told him I'm dead tired all the time and I have a really hard time getting out of bed. I snore too. HA. I am a classic case of OSA (obstructive sleep apnea). I can't breathe through my nose, and my tonsils are huge. I still have them because noone would remove them due to my rare bleeding disorder. All doctors are afraid I will bleed to death on the table. The bastards won't tie my tubes either. My plan is to quit smoking and start going for walks/runs in the evening, burn up a little more energy so I sleep better. My doctor doesn't know I smoke, so I have declined his services at this time until I am able to say "no" when asked..."do you smoke?". Smoking is one of the most STUPID things I've done in my lifetime. I curse myself everytime I light up. Not to mention I probably already have lung cancer, and if I don't I will whether I quit now or not. It's making me mad.

NEXT...

Sunday Phillip and I are taking Abby to see Bolt in 3D. I've heard it is really really cool. They don't have the cheezy cereal box glasses anymore, they give you ones that are like sunglasses. This will be her first 3D movie so it will be interesting. LOL

I got back the tax statement from Abby's school today with how much we paid........wait for it..........$9,000 friggin dollars for 2008.
That's all I have to say about that. She's worth it. =) This has definitely encouraged my decision to put her in public school come August.

Tata for now.

Bob the builder who?

Lowe's does "build it" once a month. Once a month kids go for free and build something different. This month it was a time capsule. I took Abby yesterday morning. Next month is going to be a jewelry box. She LOVED this!

Out of country...leave a message!

Ohhhhhhh yes, Marteel is going to brave another part of the world. I don't have an exact date yet but, end of February/ early March we are heading to Korea AND Japan! Let me rephrase, we are heading to Korea and then I am heading to Japan!! :) My best friend Jenny has been there 2 years now!! It's like a 2 hour plane ride from Korea. I can't WAIT to see her! Anywho, I'm very excited to say the least. China, Japan, and Korea are quite interesting places. If I was single I would live all over the world, but I'll settle for visiting. The only downfall is I will be doing this in 7 days! The flight to Korea alone is 24 hours (23 coming back). It's going to be a bit brutal on the old body. On TOP of that...I'm taking a 5 year old. Yep. 5.......for 24 hours. I couldn't imagine not taking her, she's old enough now that she will remember going. I plan to take many trips like this with her as she gets older, this is a good start. Can we say...Benadryl? HA!

Things on the home front are good. Abby appears to be coming out of this god awful year long phase she's been in. :) I didn't experience terrible 2's & 3's, I experienced terrible 4's!! I took her back to work with me today after I picked her up from school and the place practically shut down. She was dressed in her school uniform (which is always cute to see) and it conveniently has a pocket for her to store her pink bonne bell chapstick, which she promptly reapplied after every "Marteel she is SO adorable". She's matter of fact like me, and that floors people for some reason. LMAO! Little things people notice that I don't I guess. People also are in awe when they ask how old she is, she says 5, she doesn't hold up her whole hand. Some people are entertained easily. LOL Of course "I" think she's brilliant..she's MINE! They got to see her write her alphabet and numbers because they couldn't wait to get her pen and paper. She also drew pictures for 3 of them per their request. They got a big kick out of her. I'm totally the favorite now because I have the cute daughter. =)

That's all for now. I can't wait to see you Jenny!

Abby's birthday party..come and gone

Well, I think it's safe to say this is the last one we do somewhere for awhile. Of course I say that now. It went well she had a TON of fun, and the kids that did show up had fun too, so it was worth it. I could never be an event planner. I get way too irritated with people who RSVP and don't show, or people who don't RSVP and show up. 5 kids didn't show. Two of them are Abby's best friends but in their defense they were out of state and didn't leave as early as planned.

The place was cool for letting out energy. The food was ick, and the little "helper" wasn't so great with the "helping", and no I'm not referring to Phillip but, he was right up there with her in the beginning. LOL There's no way I could do a big wedding either, or one at all actually. I have no patience for that type of stuff.

Anywho. We got her an Ipod shuffle and a bicycle. She rode her bike bundled up in the cold ALL morning. I downloaded Hannah Montana and Jo Bros, and The Killers (yes she likes them, just like mommy) to her Ipod and she jammed out too. LOL I think next year we will just do something at the house. All in all it was good.

We're going to Mardi Gras in February in Shreveport, that should be fun this year. She's old enough to hollar and work for her own beads! Lots of pros to them getting older, but I still miss the babies!

7 Random facts

Amanda,
I'm kind of a boring person, there are no interesting facts about me. Nevertheless here I go:

1) As a young girl I was actually VERY girly but still a tomboy, sweet, trusting, and I had an imaginary friend named CoCo Reigns. He was a clown, and he looked much like BOZO. (sorry no fancy picture)

2) I was born in San Antonio, Tx but raised in Pleasanton, Tx which is a small town much like Wink

3) I really really wanted to be an astronaut

4) I, like Kate and Amanda, also wait until the gas light comes on before I get gas (must be a woman thing)

5) I squeeze the toothpaste in the middle on purpose

6) Sometimes I stutter when I can't get my mind to slow down enough for me to speak a complete thought

7) I wanted to be a writer

Close of the year

Not much happening here. We had a good Christmas! Abby got TONS of make-up and dress up clothes. Christmas day was very relaxing for us. Phillip and I cooked steak and eggs for breakfast, Abby played her heart out all day. She ended up going to our neighbors the last part of the day. I proceeded to watch House marathon. I was off Wednesday-Friday, it was GREAT! Saturday we did Christmas with the whole family. My brother's wifes family, and ours. Typically that doesn't go over well with most people but, Amanda has a very nice family and I think we all exist pretty well together. Now, had that been MY in-laws.........well we'll leave that alone.:)

Amanda got me my letters I've been wanting. I've been looking for KIM forever, every time I go to any store they don't have all three. She got me some really pretty ones, I love them! I already hung them up.

The job is going well, I consistently make the other two women look bad because I'm always done with my work and offering to help them do theirs. They don't like that too much. The office manager is starting to ride them pretty hard about why they are getting over time. Whoops. Other than that, all is well.

My baby is going to be 5, yes 5 in 2 days!!! I've been grieving my baby for a couple of years now. I have accepted I will never get kisses blown on my face, or see that big toothy grin, or hear her first word (ut-oh) again. =( I also realize I am watching something amazing, and that is my baby growing and learning and watching the world in awe. She dances like a stripper and that gives her much joy. ROFL She likes to hear herself talk, and she likes to be authoritive. I have no idea where she got either of those traits. ;) She is a girly girl if there ever was one. I don't think I will be the one taking her to her first day of school. I'm pretty sure I'm going to have an all out break down.

For all of you with big kids or babies, remember their face as it is today, and their laugh, and the hugs they willingly accept, and lock it away... because the pictures don't do justice. For those of you who don't have children yet, there are no words. You think you know what it is to be in love now, but you wait. Being a mom is the most irritating, frustrating, painful, scary, and the most rewarding thing I've ever done.

I'm going to go to my room and cry like a big sissy now. Happy 2009!