She graduated...and is off to Kindy.

My baby graduated from Pre-K yesterday evening. It was cute to see all these little kids in cap and gowns! I only cried once. I was doing really well until her teacher got up there to do her speech and she started crying like a baby. It only seemed fair that someone cry with her.=) I got lots of pics but, I can't upload until we get our computer back (it's being fixed). I'm having to utilize my work computer or my phone for the internet.

Abby was quite the performer. She was blowing kisses and curtsying(sp?). She was born for the stage it would appear. She is an entertainer.

She starts school end of August, and I have her set up for after-school care right by our house. They will pick her up and take her there until I come get her. I'm so sad. There really is no way to prepare for this. She is so full of life, she's eager to learn and do, and I'm not ready for that. I want my baby that used to chew on my nose and scoot across the floor on her back because she hadn't figured out how to crawl, but she had places to go. LOL My baby that was 6.04 and looked full blown Asian is taking her first steps into this big world. I'm horrified and hopeful at the same time. You only get to hold their hands a little while....it's not long enough.

It's almost Friday...

I have so much to do and little time to do it. I decided to post a blog instead of start packing. I HATE packing..so I will procrastinate.

Monday I went and had parent/teacher conference with Abby's teacher. She had really great things to say and it was comforting to hear. Overall the teacher described her as a social butterfly, creative, an entertainer, and very smart. I'm so proud.=)

We registered her for school on Tuesday. She starts August 24th. =( I thought her Pre-k graduation was going to be end of April but it wasn't, it's May 28th. They are having a surprise party for the kids that morning, and the ceremony is that evening off site. LOL These people are acting like it's high school. lmao! I was getting teared up today just thinking about it! My baby is all grown up, it's all uphill from here. Tuesday Phillip and I also celebrated our 7year anniversary. =)

On another note, Abby has this little friend down the street. UGH! I can't STAND this little girl. She's a year older than Abby, and she's a typical girl already. She tries to act cooler, act older, act like her shit doesn't stink. It's so aggravating. Abby doesn't take any shit off of her though, it's so funny. When this girl starts going off on one of her dramatic, animated stories, Abby's like BLA BLA BLA you can go home. ROFL! Everyday they end up in a fight and it's time for the girl to go home, and I think " good they won't want to play together tomorrow"....NOPE. Every damn day this little girl wants to come play. Even more irritating, the mother sends her over here hungry. WTF is that about?? I mean, I don't mind feeding her but, your house is down the street, if you're hungry...go home. Sheesh!

I can't wait to get the hell out of dodge on Friday. We are taking Abby's long time friend Bailey with us to San Antonio. She's 6 months older than Abby. They are going to have so much fun! Abby doesn't have a sibling so, Phillip and I will get used to taking one of Abby's friends for family trips.

Well I guess I should get packing. =)

Weekend wrap-up...and some rambling

I had a pretty mellow weekend, relaxing. Sadly, I'm going completely blank on what we did Friday night.

Saturday I got my hair cut and colored, I'm pretty much blonde again, but not as light as before. I've been tanning since last week, or I should say burning which is now turning to tan. Phillip, Abby, and I went and had dinner at Applebees which has a pretty darn good deal of 2 meals for $20. You get 2 entrees and an appetizer. It was darn good too. Then we went to Toys R Us to purchase Abby a jump rope and hula hoop. We set off to Stonebriar afterwards to purchase yet some more stuff for Abby. LMAO We got her a SUPER cute two-piece bathing suit from the Disney store. She is still an avid fan of Ariel. She also got a very cute yellow sundress with a small Ariel and flounder on it, and yet another Ariel doll. We proceeded to the movie theatre and saw Wolverine. Abby slept through it. It was ok. I think the next one will be better.

I had intended to accomplish getting a bathing suit this weekend too. I refuse to purchase a new bathing suit until I get my ass in shape-literally. There was this super cute bathing suit at Forever 21 that I set out to purchase....until I put it on. O M G. I will spare you the detailed description of the shape my ass is in. Granted I have been excercising but not consistantly, and I waited too late to start to be bathing suit worthy by this weekend. So for the first time in my life I will wear shorts or a sarong to cover the atrociousness that has become my rear-end. Gotta love having babies. :-s Also for the first time ever I will wear a bathing suit from last year. I know, completely unacceptable.

Sunday I accompanied my stepmother, my sister, and my nieces shopping. My oldest niece is 13-enough said. It was brutal. Then I enjoyed most of the evening with Phillip and Abby watching her hula hoop and Phillip and I teaching her how to jump rope.

I got a disturbing call from one of my very good friends Sunday night. Her husband is an addict. He has been struggling for years with sobriety. He can't manage more than 6 months before falling off the wagon again. She was looking for my advice.Unfortunately two children are caught in the midst of all this. I have been on both sides of the fence. I have been the child who's mother didn't leave, and I have been the mother who had to make a choice. Neither is a pretty place to be. I can't reitterate my opinion to people enough, the importance of getting the fuck out if they are actively using or drinking. Don't stay together for the kids, get the hell out for the kids. My mother did what she thought was best for her 3 children, god love her for that. That's all any parent can do is the best they can with the circumstances at hand. The thing that mothers/fathers struggle with is, how do I explain to my children?

My question to my mother at 14 was, WHY did you stay? Her answer- "because I thought it was best for my children. I couldn't have supported all 4 of us, I wasn't working, god knows what would have happened, and how you would have turned out. You had nice clothes, a nice home, most of what you wanted and everything you needed." My response- "I can't wear those clothes anymore, we don't have that house, and you see how I've turned out now." All of this was brought out in counseling that was court ordered due to the fact that I had runaway more than 3 times, and was locked up at a runaway shelter until they could figure out why I was "acting out". After that day I never asked her again. I was never angry with her about it again, I accepted her answer and knew she really had tried her best. I continued to runaway until 2weeks before I turned 17 and would then be "legal" at that point my mom opted to not call the cops on me again to go collect me. lol As a mother now, I realize the gravity of the decision she had to make, and based on those circumstances and that era, I most likely would have made the same choice.

Can I say what will happen if the mother/father leaves....no. I can give you a pretty damn good idea of what's going to happen if they stay. The longer you expose them to that sickness and the cycle that is alcoholism/addiction the more likely they are to follow in that path. That will be their "normal". They will pick their spouse based on the relationship they saw between an addict/alcoholic and an enabler, and they will start their own cycle. This is also a possibility even if you leave the situation.

My advice to my friend is do what is best for your children's "future". Educate...educate...educate your children on the disease of alcoholism/addiction. If you stay or if you go, get them into counseling, get them to Al-Anon.

This subject always hits too close to home and makes me ache. I too brought a child into this cycle and I wake up in a panic at night in fear of decisions I have made and will make, that may cause irreversible damage to my baby. Quite frankly, my fear is that she will turn out like me.

As always, that's me rambling. ;)

The little things

I had a terrible week last week. I won't recap all that, but I will recap the good things.

I had the best shave of my life using the razor I bought for Phillip! It was as close to a wax as you can get! So smooth! My razor with a brand new blade doesn't shave like that. I'm buying a mans razor this weekend.

I started exercising. Nothing huge, just squats with my pilates ball and stair steps. I'm trying to tone my ass and legs as I will have to get in a bathing suit in less than 2 weeks. Besides that, it makes me feel good. Who doesn't like feeling good??

Phillip got me a tanning membership for Mother's Day! Yay! So even if I don't get all tone, I'll be tan. ;)

Phillip and I are in discussion of going to Las Vegas for our birthdays in August. We're supposed to be going to Korea in September but, that's becoming quite the challenge. Abby starts school in August, she also starts soccer in August. She would be out of school for 2 weeks and obviously miss soccer as well. I'm really pushing to hold off on going until end of this year, or beginning of next. I know it's brutally cold around that time, and there will be enormous heaps of snow but, we have hot weather here. I will enjoy it regardless of the weather.

All in all I feel great, very optimistic. It's a great feeling.