Weekend wrap-up...and some rambling

I had a pretty mellow weekend, relaxing. Sadly, I'm going completely blank on what we did Friday night.

Saturday I got my hair cut and colored, I'm pretty much blonde again, but not as light as before. I've been tanning since last week, or I should say burning which is now turning to tan. Phillip, Abby, and I went and had dinner at Applebees which has a pretty darn good deal of 2 meals for $20. You get 2 entrees and an appetizer. It was darn good too. Then we went to Toys R Us to purchase Abby a jump rope and hula hoop. We set off to Stonebriar afterwards to purchase yet some more stuff for Abby. LMAO We got her a SUPER cute two-piece bathing suit from the Disney store. She is still an avid fan of Ariel. She also got a very cute yellow sundress with a small Ariel and flounder on it, and yet another Ariel doll. We proceeded to the movie theatre and saw Wolverine. Abby slept through it. It was ok. I think the next one will be better.

I had intended to accomplish getting a bathing suit this weekend too. I refuse to purchase a new bathing suit until I get my ass in shape-literally. There was this super cute bathing suit at Forever 21 that I set out to purchase....until I put it on. O M G. I will spare you the detailed description of the shape my ass is in. Granted I have been excercising but not consistantly, and I waited too late to start to be bathing suit worthy by this weekend. So for the first time in my life I will wear shorts or a sarong to cover the atrociousness that has become my rear-end. Gotta love having babies. :-s Also for the first time ever I will wear a bathing suit from last year. I know, completely unacceptable.

Sunday I accompanied my stepmother, my sister, and my nieces shopping. My oldest niece is 13-enough said. It was brutal. Then I enjoyed most of the evening with Phillip and Abby watching her hula hoop and Phillip and I teaching her how to jump rope.

I got a disturbing call from one of my very good friends Sunday night. Her husband is an addict. He has been struggling for years with sobriety. He can't manage more than 6 months before falling off the wagon again. She was looking for my advice.Unfortunately two children are caught in the midst of all this. I have been on both sides of the fence. I have been the child who's mother didn't leave, and I have been the mother who had to make a choice. Neither is a pretty place to be. I can't reitterate my opinion to people enough, the importance of getting the fuck out if they are actively using or drinking. Don't stay together for the kids, get the hell out for the kids. My mother did what she thought was best for her 3 children, god love her for that. That's all any parent can do is the best they can with the circumstances at hand. The thing that mothers/fathers struggle with is, how do I explain to my children?

My question to my mother at 14 was, WHY did you stay? Her answer- "because I thought it was best for my children. I couldn't have supported all 4 of us, I wasn't working, god knows what would have happened, and how you would have turned out. You had nice clothes, a nice home, most of what you wanted and everything you needed." My response- "I can't wear those clothes anymore, we don't have that house, and you see how I've turned out now." All of this was brought out in counseling that was court ordered due to the fact that I had runaway more than 3 times, and was locked up at a runaway shelter until they could figure out why I was "acting out". After that day I never asked her again. I was never angry with her about it again, I accepted her answer and knew she really had tried her best. I continued to runaway until 2weeks before I turned 17 and would then be "legal" at that point my mom opted to not call the cops on me again to go collect me. lol As a mother now, I realize the gravity of the decision she had to make, and based on those circumstances and that era, I most likely would have made the same choice.

Can I say what will happen if the mother/father leaves....no. I can give you a pretty damn good idea of what's going to happen if they stay. The longer you expose them to that sickness and the cycle that is alcoholism/addiction the more likely they are to follow in that path. That will be their "normal". They will pick their spouse based on the relationship they saw between an addict/alcoholic and an enabler, and they will start their own cycle. This is also a possibility even if you leave the situation.

My advice to my friend is do what is best for your children's "future". Educate...educate...educate your children on the disease of alcoholism/addiction. If you stay or if you go, get them into counseling, get them to Al-Anon.

This subject always hits too close to home and makes me ache. I too brought a child into this cycle and I wake up in a panic at night in fear of decisions I have made and will make, that may cause irreversible damage to my baby. Quite frankly, my fear is that she will turn out like me.

As always, that's me rambling. ;)